he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
