you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
