marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
