He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
