My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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