SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
