hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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