So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
