Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize