i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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