Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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