There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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