census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You have to summon your inner elephant
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I did not marry a roomba.
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