goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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