I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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