That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
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I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
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If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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