eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He has the fingertips of a God
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