You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So vagazzling was a success
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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