You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
