Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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