Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
