Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm passing your future prison.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
