we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
