My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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