I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize