laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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