If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
