its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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