dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
