Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i now understand why vodka
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
