Quick, to the slutcave!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
