The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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