Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
