how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize