Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize