I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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