JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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