Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
