I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
