Where is the hickey?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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