...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
