the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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