Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
