The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
