I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
