I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
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and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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