If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
