I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
