we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
