I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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