dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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