I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
farters have to be the big spoon...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
