Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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