its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
