they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
