The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
