You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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