omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
