the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
