People with herpes should wear stickers.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
