My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
